FOR ALL THE COWS – Singin’ In The Rain


It is no secret that the sun makes people happy and brings out the best in you.In Aberdeen the sun just needs to reach for his hat, and girls are in bikinis before you could say “factor fuck all”. Since Scotland gets about two weeks of sun a year,the long Summer days are fully capitalized by games of football,bottles of cider and gorging on Mcflurrys.However since being in Australia i have found that not only am i used to the sun – i actually don’t like it that much anymore. It seems the cards have been reversed. The sight of a raincloud,the smell of a fresh rain and the satisfying noise of water rattling off the roof,sends me into a calm,relaxed state.I think of home and feel incredibly at peace. Sadly storms are far and few between over here and don’t last very long,so the feeling doesn’t last. I feel incredibly smug walking through the city centre with my hood up,laughing at everyone running for cover – ‘I’m from Scotland! I walk through 400 mile per hour winds,hailstones the size of golf balls and raindrops like bullets,wearing only my underwear! Harden up Australia!’.
As i watch the crowd run for every available door way,like cockroaches scattering when you put on a light, i see no umbrellas or hoods at all. Understandable in ‘the sunshine state’ i guess. Why would you carry one when it rarely rains? That would be like carrying a condom at a retirement home, bingo evening. Just not likely to use it are you?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not looking forward to dealing with the elements of that bitch – Mother Nature when i return, but for now i appreciate the odd down pour. As they say – ‘the best things in life are free’.
Talking of battling nature,I’ve had a war with the resident ants that live in and around the house.As soon as you leave a knife or a stray crumb about,the kitchen surface is swamped with them. I love animals big and small so the real battle comes in not trying to kill any of them. However i lost the plot when they had claimed the pate, and i went on a killing spree. And if they conquer my food cupboard i will in slave them all and make them build a tree house. A word of warning ants. I’m not fucking around anymore.
Ive been a bit of a wimp on the creepy crawly front really. I’m terrorised by the spider that lives in my bathroom. I have visions of it jumping on my face,crawling down my throat and bursting out my stomach.Or tying me to my bed and torturing me until i guarantee the release of the ants.Not only am i surrounded physically,they also surround my thoughts. I have an over active imagination,and every now and then i have a terrible nights sleep. From night terrors to sleepwalking – I’ve done it all over the years ( I’ll touch on that another day) and I’ve now started seeing spiders in my bed,on the wall and anywhere else my imagination will take me. Fantastic. Another thing to freak me out. Grab a chair ants. It’ll be your time soon.
So I’ve secured full time hours at work so the ball is well and truly rolling in terms of saving. As long as i don’t fall into gambling again,go out every weekend and stay clear of impulse purchases i should be fine. I’ve defiantly grown and matured as a person and know how to budget now. There was no doubt money created a huge problem for me back home. I’m glad i can appreciate it and use it wisely now.
I received a package from home containing trainers,t shirts,sweets and other treats. Like a child on Christmas day i jumped around the room,tore open the box and was hyper as hell. I’ve hardly bought anything for myself over the year and this was an amazing treat for me. Thanks so much Dad. That made my week and i defiantly appreciate it.I’m sure the ants will have a feast.
That’ll wrap it up for now folks. Not long until i reach the shores of Scotland again. Come rain or shine (the first being more likely) im looking forward to seeing you all again. So get the kettle on. Theres plenty of stories to tell,laughs to be had and songs to dance too.
We can even go ‘singin‘ in the rain’.
Take it easy folks.

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About Darren Crocker

Twenty nine year old from Aberdeen, Scotland now residing in Edinburgh. View all posts by Darren Crocker

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