Time Consumer

For the next two weeks i will be stuck indoors.No i dont have glandjular fever,no friends or been snowed in but unfortunatley i have went over my ankle and chipped a bone in my foot at football on Sunday.Im always hurting myself.At first i thought i just dislocated it so a couple of days rest would be the best form of action but after getting forced to go to A and E by my ever concerned mother it turns out two weeks of pure fuck all and six weeks away from any sports is the best form of medicine.To be fair i kind of had an indication that i would of needed to go as my ankle looked a cross between a pair of boobs and Weasels nose.Of course to all bad news there usually is an upside and mine being i get some time away from the Cuisene Prison that is work which can only be good for my sanity.Bad points?Well i have to look afer my dogs of course.When i say look after i mean let them out once or twice,feed them when i remember and poke them in the belly when they are sleeping and im bored.I cant take Alanna out which is a bit gutting.And of course we cant forget that i will be so fucking bored and stir crazy that even two episodes of Jeremy Kyle a day cant save me from certain insanity.Sitting infront of the tv for a fortnight may sound like everyones idea of bliss but unfortunatley i dont share your thoughts as i think id much rather unblock someones drains with my mouth than watch cash in the attic for the 14th time.I suppose i could always try and grow a beard,put on two stone and drink all day.Isnt that what unemployed middle aged men do?Id go to the bookies to just to complete the dream but im hobbling about on crutches at the moment and cant get up and down the path so if anyone wants to come past im doing blow jobs for a pound and baked bird pies for an extra 50.Id appreciate the company.
Unfortunatley ive let myself get wound up recently by getting called an Emo kid from a pisshead Alcoholic with a life expectancy of 25.Thats Sean Carrol by the way.Apparently because i write blogs,wear trendy t shirts and listen to Funeral For A Friend it makes me emo.Fair play to my mates as its been a well known tradition that if theres something worth winding you up over they go for it untill you lose your rag.Its just my turn and ive brought it on myself by letting it bother me.Itll blow over soon when Wilson gets Louise pregnant,Weasel gets plastic surgery,Sean rehabs and Peeps gets married to a poor Eastern European.Its all good :p
Unfortunatley theres nothing else worth reporting!Things are going grand with the girlfriend and ive got her company to look forward to but bar that it looks like itll be a pretty boring fortnight.Ill most likely get pissed one day in my bed and write absoulte shite for an hour and post it up so look out for that.Untill then? I suppose i could always hate my parents ;) …..
Take it easy folks.

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About Darren Crocker

Thirty one year old Support Worker from Aberdeen, Scotland now residing in Edinburgh. View all posts by Darren Crocker

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