Suddenly Tragic

in “Five” you get a card when you ask for a cocktail.On this card you will get a number of choices in which you have to tick one in each column forming a cocktail of your god damn choice.How fucking brilliant!Who the hell made up such a god damn ace idea??Why the fuck cant we do that with girls eh?Id have the 18 to 21,5 foot 7,non slut(well maybe half a shot of slut)good laugh,un sensitive fresher please – preferably a fine malt from Rothie Norman or out yonder so i can still create my own city bird without having to go to extreme like listening to the Editors to impress her.Brilliant!Just dont stick an umbrella up her arse and a cherry in her naval and your laughing all the way to the student Union bank.Yes folks its freshers week and as im a sad twenty year old working away full time for a living id thought id nip up town tonight to check out the hot imports from such exotic places as Leith and Stranraer.I didnt get to far though.We ended up in the Geramn fish/beer stalls in the Castle Gate.And again – what a brilliant fucking idea!What a great little place – food,beer,cocktails and sandals galore!Not to mention some weird exotic green beatle that landed on my neck a matter of hours ago.I would love to tell you all what breed of beatle it was but ill have a stab in saying it was a German Shepard crossed with a fucking Dinosaur!It scared the shit out of me.There i was – drinking my pint in peace when this big green bogie deceided to munch on my neck.Can we blame global warming for the appearence of this mammoth beast or the Germans for taking over aids infected beatles?Ill blame neither as im greatfull for the warm weather and so very thankfull for the Germans for taking their jovient,market to town.I thouroughlly enjoyed their stalls and vibe and wish that Aberdeen had something like that daily.God knows our drab city needs it.And it damn well deserves better.
Our city is full of potential and it really dosent live up to anyones expectations.Aberdeens a glorious place.Lets make things happen!
So im sitting in my underwear.Not that im expecting wolf whistles from passing drunks or anything but more likely my mum walking in on me just as undewear turns to floorwear and my laptop turns from blog to filth.Hey – it only takes a matter of seconds for the person you respect the most to become the eye dodger at the breakfast table.Be canny folks – mums know when there sons are jakking off.Just be one step ahead.Remember as a kid the hedgehogs of the green cross code telling you that speed kills?Well as a teenager take this into account – speed thrills.Its all in the timing.
So the weekend is soon approaching and guess what?Itll be the same as every other weekend!Bar i think i will head back down to the glorious castle gate for a second dose of the German spectacular that is the fish and beer market.Seriously folks head down.It injected faith into me that the castle gate can once again be a thriving and attractive prospect for Aberdeen.Tall ships anyone?They were ace.
Take it easy folks.Or as they would say in Germany…..
Ich Spiele Tennis.


About Darren Crocker

Thirty one year old Support Worker from Aberdeen, Scotland now residing in Edinburgh. View all posts by Darren Crocker

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