Show Me Your Cards

So what do pc world and celtic have in common?Not a lot to be honest bar they are both shite and both bottle it under pressure.Well lets be fair i also can say im a big bottle merchant.And celtic do ,seem to pull through under pressure. Infact,lets face it – pc world are the countries biggest computer mega store……….Ahhhh fuck it i don’t know what my point is but i hate them both! Ive recently got my laptop back after pc world pissed me about (again) for a couple of months.I sent it away for a simple repair and they returned it fixed.No problem.Unfortunatley they also broke the keyboard and rebooted the device losing precious pictures of my children,and important Swiss bank accounts.I tried to write them an angry e mail but unfortunatley the letters c,u,n,t and s were broken.
After 45 phone calls to an array of different nationalities i finally got it picked up again to get the keyboard fixed.So far,so good this time but if i could turn back time i would of never have bought a laptop from there.They are completely useless.The Customer care is awful and even the jovient,chavvy courier agreed with me.Avoid the world of fancy devices.Take your granny out for lunch instead.
So im back from Leeds festival for the 5th year.Enjoyed it but i feel this is my last.I just feel to old to run through bonfires,throw things and watch panic!at the disco.The actual highlight came before the festival when i went to see the foos at meadowbank.They were amazing and i loved every second.Sorry did i say that was the highlight?I forgot to mention that Sean pissed the bed.Yes thats right – SEAN CARROL.After a drunken night up town Wilson,Sean and myself stumbled back to the hostel we were staying.After getting picked on i went off in a huff and slept on a sofa downstairs.Feeling a tad worse for wear the next morning and getting awoken by a cleaner hoovering round my corpse i decided to stumble back upstairs and get the boys up for the train.It was then that we realised that our good friend had pissed the bed.Oh dear.He didn’t look embarrassed shockingly,and he pretty much gave us the impression this happens a lot to him.Aren’t i glad i passed out watching teletext downstairs.Wilson slept in it all night.
That pretty much set the tone for the week and we continued to rip it into one another.I received a chair to the eye for my troubles,busting me open in the process.I am an annoying prick when iv’e had a drink and it just wouldn’t be me to not get injured from my friends in some way.Id want to punch me to.All in all though everyone was pretty tame this bank holiday weekend and nothing will ever beat the first year of carnage.Its good to get the lads together though(and Holly).They are a good bunch.
Ive decided to call it a day at Pappagallos.After two and a half years i feel im well overdue a change and you know that time comes when you hate everyone that walks in the door. I regret that i wont be doing my old man a favour anymore but he fully understands its time to move on.I will definatley miss all the staff and you couldn’t get a better bunch.I just want a job that doesn’t involve mopping up spilled juice and making milkshakes everyday.If anyone has any suggestions or could help me out with full time work im all ears.
Thats about it folks. Take it easy. First rule of childhood – do not piss the bed.Second rule of childhood – DO NOT piss the bed.Who told Sean?

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About Darren Crocker

Twenty nine year old from Aberdeen, Scotland now residing in Edinburgh. View all posts by Darren Crocker

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