Shanghai,Yangshou,Longli Terraces,Shenzhen.

Feeling like a fat pie after a meal of sushi,noodles then ice cream. Was going to walk it off but decided against after realising it took me an hour and a half to walk to the city centre. Reason being that taking two minutes to look online to find out what tube to get is just far to much hastle for me. No,no,no. Just walk into an unknown city and guess your way around. Fuck sat nav when you have a clueless body map at hand.
If you haven’t guessed already im all on my lonesome in sunny Shenzhen sporting panda eyes from constant shade use and a Scotland top that has smelt better.
I left the rest of my group today and said some goodbyes.They are off to Hong Kong for a couple of days whilst i am here as i fucked up my visa application. Could think of alot worse places to be though. Word has it you are knee deep in snow right now.Nae luck comes to mind.As much as id have you all over here for a piss up anytime im not fancying wet trainers and slippy paths anytime soon….
So what have i been upto……
Well a few places have came and went! Shanghai being one of them.Great place.We went to see an acrobatic show that had more “Jeessssssssuuuuuuusssssss chrrrrrrissssstttttts” than church on christmas day.Jumping through hoops,bending their bodies in ridiculous postions.4 motor bikes going mental in what can only be described as an oversized atmosphere from gladiatiors.Mighty impressive i tell thee.After that it was a hunt for a cheap bar with the lads to watch the football. Which we found. A few beers and two triple jagers later im dancing on stage like a fanny,trying to dance with the waitress and challenging Dav (the welsh lad)………(and rugby player i may add) to rugby tackles in the corridor.Needless to say i got binned and after the fourth atempt at gaining some sort of pride i had to be carried into my room and dumped on my bed. Sporting some lovely carpet burns and bruises.Lovely…..
We decided to go to a posh bar on the 88th floor of some huge,impressive tower. The view was amazing and it was then it really hit home on how long i’ll be away for.
After Shanghai it was onto rural China which consisted of a full day bike ride,kayaking and a long day trekking. I love all these things so i was happy. Was good to see some “real” China in the sense it was very basic and quite poverty stricken. Still the locals are friendly and im very impressed with the good nature of the people.Some of the local ladies put on a culture show for us which consisted of singing,dancing and some crazy bamboo stick game that can only be described as skipping rope with a hint of fucking nuts thrown in.Its all about the rhythm!Haha! Otherwise expect to get your ankles nipped.
Also got my hair washed by some ladies up the mountain.Freezing cold mountain water.Great……….Silky smooth though. But i think i may be baptized now. Ah well….
Yangshou was also a stop. This place can only be described as Magaluf in China.If it was Summer it would be mentally busy i think.Good times wer’e had here.Highlights included a white trash redneck party,buy one get one free cocktails and trying to buy a local guys food cart for 25 quid. A wee note on that………
This guy was willing to let me rent his cart for two hours and let me run his business.I was only taking the piss.I offered him twenty percent of the profit. I was amazed that he was willing to let me take his life off him for that. I politley declined in the end and made friends. Didn’t want to offend him so we agreed on cooking together. Good banter he was.
So the day after tommorow i meet back up with some of the original group and a few new faces at the airport where we fly to Sapa. Im looking forward to that. Then its treking down to Vietnam.
A few things i’ve learned……
Have patience with the language barrier and don’t be arsy. You can’t understand them so don’t expect them to understand you.
The roads are fucking mental. If you don’t have a seatbelt hold on to your balls,arse or whatever else that isn’t strapped down.
You will constantly be stared at.Get used to it.
You will be approached by beggars all the time.Say no and keep on walking.
Talk to the locals.Especcially outised the cities. On the most part they are friendly.
And most importantly……..SMILE! And enjoy yourself.
Right.Off to buy some wine and drink myself into a stooper untill the flight. Maybe even find a bar thats showing the Champions League at 4 in the morning.
Take it easy folks.

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About Darren Crocker

Twenty nine year old from Aberdeen, Scotland now residing in Edinburgh. View all posts by Darren Crocker

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