Shock And Terror

So im back in Sunny Aberdeen after quite a laid back (on the most part) Leeds Festival.I did enjoy myself but i feel this is my last year.I was on my best behaviour shockingly – i think this is due to the absence of someone just as fucking stupid and mental as myself e.g Peeps or James or somebody to that extent.It was good to see Wilson back though and Joe was on top form.He didnt do anything – but he did let me rip the piss out of him all weekend – and thats good enough for me.He did chase me and Wilson round the campsite dying for our blood as he had enough of the two of us slagging off his Lobster looking face and Marilon Munroe wig which he aquired from a drug dealing cheeky chappy named “Longjohn”.Longjohn was a charachter to say the least who came to steal the heat from our fire and offer us drugs one night.A dirty looking chap with a table cloth wrapped round his head.He took along his girlfreind who was alright but unfortunatley he also took 20 other people who were mostly lager drinking rugby louts who did their best to give Holly a hard time.They bassically threw a rugby ball into her tent repeatedley in order to get a reaction which they eventually got.Apparently they got a bit aggresive towards her and a bit intimidating.They gave Wilson grief to.I missed out on all this as i passed out.Of course the next night i took it into my own hands to get as fucked as possible and be as loud as possible.I ran through their fire,poured a beer over my head and requested the vengaboys on guitar constantly.Instead of them getting irritated they embraced my Scottish accent and cheeky tone and i ended up having a laugh with them.Unfortunalty it backfired as when i finally did go to bed after trying so hard to be hardcore they learnt the chords to the vengaboys and played it outside my tent.They were mostly pricks,and i did get called Angus but i didnt see the point of arguing with our neighbours.And there was another party of about the same amount of people to the otherside of us to who were also a bunch of fannies with the odd exception.That same night i also went on a big adventure losing everyone in the process and ended up calling Wilson and Joe fat and Jewish bastards at the top of my voice for about a good twenty minutes.Apparently i was restrained and i bit Wilson as he slammed me into my tent.Its all a bit shady though.But i do remember the singing.As did everyone else round me as a i got shouted abuse at.But that was the maddest i got im afraid.The rest of the weekend was pretty laid back but i did enjoy it.Just good to get away from work for a while.And the company was excellent.Everyone was happy as the weather was brilliant on the most part bar the last night where it pished down.Oh and i also saw some good bands So im back now and the next time i will be away will be The Ukraine.Peeps and Andy will also be there so this will bound to be a trip to remember.Then it will be the lead up to christmas which is a scary prospect.I think i will celebrate this year by drinking myself into a drunken stuper.I might ask Santa for earplugs and a blindfold so i dont have to watch Casper the friendly ghost and Babe ever again.Id rather they put on repeats of old snuff films.At least it will bound to make you vomit which is a good way of shaking off those extra pounds before they get a chance to digest.Got to love the food.Especcially my dads cooking.B – E – A – UTIFULL.Christmas sucks though.Which im sure youl’l hear all sbout soon……..


About Darren Crocker

Thirty one year old Support Worker from Aberdeen, Scotland now residing in Edinburgh. View all posts by Darren Crocker

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