Monthly Archives: September 2006

Shock And Terror

So im back in Sunny Aberdeen after quite a laid back (on the most part) Leeds Festival.I did enjoy myself but i feel this is my last year.I was on my best behaviour shockingly – i think this is due to the absence of someone just as fucking stupid and mental as myself e.g Peeps or James or somebody to that extent.It was good to see Wilson back though and Joe was on top form.He didnt do anything – but he did let me rip the piss out of him all weekend – and thats good enough for me.He did chase me and Wilson round the campsite dying for our blood as he had enough of the two of us slagging off his Lobster looking face and Marilon Munroe wig which he aquired from a drug dealing cheeky chappy named “Longjohn”.Longjohn was a charachter to say the least who came to steal the heat from our fire and offer us drugs one night.A dirty looking chap with a table cloth wrapped round his head.He took along his girlfreind who was alright but unfortunatley he also took 20 other people who were mostly lager drinking rugby louts who did their best to give Holly a hard time.They bassically threw a rugby ball into her tent repeatedley in order to get a reaction which they eventually got.Apparently they got a bit aggresive towards her and a bit intimidating.They gave Wilson grief to.I missed out on all this as i passed out.Of course the next night i took it into my own hands to get as fucked as possible and be as loud as possible.I ran through their fire,poured a beer over my head and requested the vengaboys on guitar constantly.Instead of them getting irritated they embraced my Scottish accent and cheeky tone and i ended up having a laugh with them.Unfortunalty it backfired as when i finally did go to bed after trying so hard to be hardcore they learnt the chords to the vengaboys and played it outside my tent.They were mostly pricks,and i did get called Angus but i didnt see the point of arguing with our neighbours.And there was another party of about the same amount of people to the otherside of us to who were also a bunch of fannies with the odd exception.That same night i also went on a big adventure losing everyone in the process and ended up calling Wilson and Joe fat and Jewish bastards at the top of my voice for about a good twenty minutes.Apparently i was restrained and i bit Wilson as he slammed me into my tent.Its all a bit shady though.But i do remember the singing.As did everyone else round me as a i got shouted abuse at.But that was the maddest i got im afraid.The rest of the weekend was pretty laid back but i did enjoy it.Just good to get away from work for a while.And the company was excellent.Everyone was happy as the weather was brilliant on the most part bar the last night where it pished down.Oh and i also saw some good bands So im back now and the next time i will be away will be The Ukraine.Peeps and Andy will also be there so this will bound to be a trip to remember.Then it will be the lead up to christmas which is a scary prospect.I think i will celebrate this year by drinking myself into a drunken stuper.I might ask Santa for earplugs and a blindfold so i dont have to watch Casper the friendly ghost and Babe ever again.Id rather they put on repeats of old snuff films.At least it will bound to make you vomit which is a good way of shaking off those extra pounds before they get a chance to digest.Got to love the food.Especcially my dads cooking.B – E – A – UTIFULL.Christmas sucks though.Which im sure youl’l hear all sbout soon……..

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Flesh Into Gear

So its hitting that time of year again.The nights will start getting darker,girls will start getting moodier and boys will start getting fatter.Sadly we are nearing the end of the summer.But the one saving grace before we hit arctic weather again is the yearly end of August Leeds festival in which i have partaken in for the past three years,this year of course being my forth and possibly final year.As i take a trip down memory road i ponder if this year could possibly top the others.The first year always goes down in history as the best.A good majority of our group went down and we really did cause a ruckus.Sadly my memory of this weekend is shady as i was a shivering,pale mess for a good majority of the day and night.I was very unprepared and my saving grace was my bank card for food and water.I think i brought a tent,a sleeping bag and pretty much nothing else.I borrowed the tent of my grandma and i made the mistake of not checking it before i put it up.It was a brown,mouldy,one man tent which by the second night was dowsed in beer,sun tan lotion and kicked to the ground by my jesting friends.I still slept in it though for another night in a nice puddle of carling.By the third night i slept rough next to some scouser.Good times,good times.By the Sunday i partied myself out so much i was asleep by 9,paraletic – and missed a whole load of stuff.As i said – i was a mess.The second year less of us went but a few new faces.My outstanding memory of that year was thinking it was a good idea to go on some horrible looking ride with Clappy when i was quite stoned and a bit pissed.After watching some guy total trip out on it as we had a good laugh at him we decided it was a must.After one minute of getting turned upside down and inside out i felt possitvley sick and we both wanted off.But unfortunatley it went on for a good few minutes after that and i spilled my guts over the side after the fun.After stumbling back to camp Peeps thought it would be a good idea to burn a cd player,then a chair.I took a mouth full of toxic fumes then passed out.Again – my memory is sketchy.Last year was a bit quiter untill the last night – then thats when the riots happened.The security theyre was an absolute joke and they swung their weight about a fair bit.Mean fiddler have even admitted this and have changed security firms this year.So the whole campsite rebelled against them hurtling them with bottles,rocks and fire.The rowdy crowd then barricaded them into a corner and pelted them as louts broke into the beer trucks and handed out crates of 24s to everyone.Then a huge explosion went off knocking people to the ground as someone put butane in the bonfire.Was nuts.By this point the security dawning full riot gear advanced towards the rowdy crowd forcing everyone back.I just enjoyed a cold beer watching it all happen.I could go on and on about outstanding memories of Leeds but they are honestly endless.Festival time of the year is by far the highlight of the otherwise,a boring and dragging summer.I love the place and i cant wait to go back.One week from Today….And i will be better prepared this year.But unfortunatley this comes at a cost as it will set me back 30 notes for batteries for the cd player.Just an example.I also have to buy Wilson a tent as i burned his down to the ground last year.And myself.And a sleeping bag,alcohol etc.It will all add up.But it isnt half worth it.I think everyone should experience a festival.Its purely amazing…..


Virginia Moon

Well wish me luck folks as i have my driving test this morning.Wait a minute.What was that?Cancelled?Due to the examiners being on strike?Not untill September now?What?………No phone call?Not even a letter?”Want to continue with your lesson?”My answer to that?FUCK NO.If i drive home now will i get my money back?Yes?Good….Ill turn the car around then.This has severely pissed me off as i had to swap shifts at work meaning i cant go out at the time i want to tonight and if i passed i would of got my old mans car to drive about for the rest of the summer.All this nonsense only ever seems to happen to me and it looks like ive got really shitty luck.Its not my instructers fault – he sympathised with me.Not only that its only half nine in the morning.Far to early to play drums.Aw well – the silver lining is that more people die on the roads each year than they do with planes,trains,boats etc put together.So at least im escaping death.But then of course more people die of lung Cancer in a year than die on the roads probably.Aw well.Ill just stay in my room with my curtains shut and my lungs pinky.That will save me from certain death.I am extremely frustrated if you cant tell.If always had problems with BSM and i feel ive been taking for a ride which i touched on a couple of entries ago.Just another prime example of getting walked all over.When i finally do pass my test i invite you all to jump in the back,(not at the same time mind you)drive to the local shop,buy half a dozen eggs,and splatter BSM.Infact lets not stop there.Infact – ill even turn a corner without putting my indicator on.YEHH.That will show them.And then ill run a red light at 3 in the morning when im the only car on the road.Then just for the sake of it ill do an emergency stop when there isnt even an emergency!HAHAHAHA.Ill be the death of them – youl’l see.Professor Chaos!I might cheer myself up a bit by going in town and buying myself a new pair of trainers.Not that im getting bored of gold but i get refused entry in town sometimes because of them and a nice pair for the weekends wouldn’t go a miss.Im not a pair of shoes kind of guy.On occasion only.See i always feel there will be a time when im going to need to make a run for something if its for the bus or getting chased and id wish i wore my trainers.Or i may go to the gym if i can be arsed.But thats highly unlikely.Ill probably end up making a sandwich.Then throw it off of the next BSM car i see……..Oh and by the way im totally running out of Foo Fighter songs to name my blogs.So sooner rather than later im going to have to move on to another band.Unless that is i want to title them “Floaty (acoustic)” or “Everlong (Live)” and thats just well stupid.So i think its a toss up between Incubus as they have some arty farty names and CKY who i just love.I will never use “Panic” at the disco” Unless i want my blogs to be called “Holding pictures of angel wings,screaming out loud for attention,keeping her mouth shut,passport sized”And again – thats just fucking stupid.What ever happened to song titles?Whats wrong with “Loving you” and “loveshack “and “loving you in the loveshack”?.Well the last one dosent exist but i feel i may wirte a song now called that.Ive always wanted to do the nasty in the loveshack.Maybe i will on my travels…..Tata x


Im In Love With A German Film Star

Well i had a great weekend at Hollys house celebrating her 21st Birthday.They did a great job at converting their barn into a wee disco and making their house a welcome place to relax in the countryside for the weekend.Thanks for the invite I enjoy animals.Not in the sense of fucking them or impaling them on fences but as in enjoying their company.Got to play with dogs,cats and horses all weekend and ive realised im still the animal lover i once was when i was a kid.Ive always had a way with birds (the feathered type) and lots of other creatures as my grnadma and my dad are massive animal lovers(again i must state – not in the fucking or impaling sense).Used to go on lots of trips to find birds,deer,foxes etc and a lot of my sparetime as a kid was spent being fascinated about animal books,magazines,programmes and just outdoors in general.But of course once our springer Spaniel died a few years back my folks went and bought two little yappy bastards named Mackie and Hamish in which i love but would have no problem tying them to a hot air balloon and watching them dissapear into the sunset.They make me want to cut my own arm off just to have something to batter them with.And i feel they have tarnished my love for animals.I think i want a cat when im older now since ive never been the biggest fan of them.Hollys cats ace.Wimbledons started and im lying in my bed watching it as we speak.Im trying to figure out if i watch it for the sport aspect or for the loud sensual moans the lovely ladies give out mid volley.I think id be old before my time if the latter prevailed.But then again – maybe the rain will come out and their tops will get sligtly wet.I feel my music taste is taking a turn for the better.Im not completely satisfied with listening to the same oldsame old.Ive always been a nu – metal kid with a bit of this and that thrown in.But as radio 1 is getting me through the working day now i feel myself taking a turn.Im getting into a lot of dance and a bit of jazz at the moment and i know that the radio is the tip of the iceburg and id very much like to venture down that road.Any reccomendations feel free to throw them my way.Id like to talk to someone with a completley different music taste.Im open for anything…Take it easy folks.