X – Static

As ive been waiting an hour now for my driving instructer to pick me up ive concluded that he will not show.So the smarmy BSM robbed me of an extra hour in my bed.In return i feel i should rob them.Dont know what they would have mind you.I could maybe run into the office and steal a handfull of colourfull brochures.Or a bag full of tree shaped air fresheners.Either way they have fucked me about once to often and im geting slightly impatient in that i want to pass my test asap and hit the old road.Who wants to be my first passenger?What kind of driver do you think i am?Am i the cautious,sensible type plodding along at a reasonable speed?Or am i the cocky,know it all boy racer with a guaranteed accident or fine within the first year.I would like to opt for the 44 year old married dogger who wanks off to young couples getting it off in the woods somewhere.But we can only hope.Whos to say ill be around when im 44?I could get eaten by sharks or take a sudden heart attack.Maybe even die trying to steal the last egg of an endangered species.Who knows.Life is full of mysteries.One of them being – where the fuck is my driving instructor!Back to my original point – im a good driver.At times i find it hard to concentrate and you know – nearly cause an accident and be called “a dangerous driver” but i suppose thats half the fun.Overall im quite confident behind the wheel and think im more than ready to sit my test.Lets just hope BSM are professional enough to put in for my test for me.God knows ive had enough lessons.So the World Cup starts today and quite honestly i am creaming myself.More than ever i want to see England lose and i am quite confident that they will.No Uri Gellar,John Motson or Wayne Rooney can save them and with my new UN Allience t shirt (Scotland,Sweden,Trinidad and Tobago and Paraguay flags) being worn proudly during the group stages i will be doing my best to give them the worst luck in the world.I am so excited my ribs hurt.Ill be seeing some of you lovely people soon over the holidays and ill look forward to sharing a drink on a hot sunny day with you.To everyone else – drive safely……..

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About Darren Crocker

Twenty nine year old from Aberdeen, Scotland now residing in Edinburgh. View all posts by Darren Crocker

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