My First Blog

I am Darren Crocker and this is my first ever blog entry.Im pretty sure theres no skill to writing these thing and from what ive read most are just a big pile of plop a dop splated onto a page so id thought id give you my take on what plop a dop goes on in my everday life.See my space never used to be my thing.I thought youd have to be one sad bastard to spend more than 15 minutes on the internet at any one time.Go kick a football about,steal from your local spar or do anything that would get a tan on your peelly walley faces but dont sit for more than a fortnight refreshing pages,on the lookout for people more sad than yourselves.But a variety of things has swayed my internet life in other directions.
When i was 12 maybe 13 sitting on the internet for hours was cool because 1.your parents hated it.2.you could chat to people and wind people up with no consequences.and 3.there was fuck all else to do at night bar go in for girls,play streets of rage or hurl rocks off of cars.Once i reached a certain age i decided the computer was a big pile of ding and a waste of time time.And i went through about a two year spell where i would hardly ever be online,and when i was it would rarely be for more than an hour tops.I have a really low concentration span,hence the shit school grades and lack of ambition.Im in no way think as shit and can run up there with the best of them but if somethings not worth stressing over – i just wont do it if you get my drift.Ive got about 25 dvds in my collection that ive only seen the first hour off – not becuase the film was bad but i just kinda got up and wondered off.
I started smoking weed at about 16 maybe 17.I said i never would but hey – you say alot of things when your younger.I split up with my girlfriend of two years and decided to take up something less constructive.I was a heavy smoker up untill new year and i know this is one new years resolution im going to keep.i just got bored of it and felt ive turned a corner.It does you no good.ive had alot of good memories being stoned out my box but id much rather roll around the floor in laughter PISSED with my mates.Than fight over the last piece of pizza then sit in silence,gasping for breath.I have a good set of friends and were extrememly fortunate in that we still all see each other from school on a regualr bases.But they must even know that smoking to the extent that they do cant be good.
I just realised today that i failed college just on the basis that i was stoned all the time.i could of been in drama school by now living it up in student digs – again pissing myself against the wall but in a positive way.But instead ive found myself moved back home – with a nice little set up and a cushy little number – which i appreciate because my folks dont need to put up with me – but i just keep myself quiet – go to work,comne back and piss about on here if im not out.See the computer isnt to bad ive realised – downloading shit,talking to folk – its quite nice that someones asking for you.Im not on here accesivley – far from it.But since my laptops on 24/7 i do run past this site and i quite enjoy having my computer as a distraction to smoking.I think less of smoking when in typing,or watching a film.
Although im thinking of it alot now!but i know i wont start again – bar when i go travelling i know theres going to be times when its a perfect joint occasion – and id be more than happy to take up the offer – your only young once.i just feel that getting pie eyed has played a bigger part in my life than i intended it to and before i knew it i was working full time – realising – what the fuck am i going to do?im only 20 – still got plenty of time to figure it out but its a bit scary when you know you could of been doing something constructive with yourself.But id say im more level headed than alot of students i know because working full time from school isnt that much of a bad thing.Grown up a shit load,taken some responsibility and got a fucking grip of myself.I have to work for what i want and i respect other people who do the same.i realise living at home has its benefits but as long as i dont take that for granted ill stay here untill i travel,come back and have a new outlook and perspective on what i want to do.get my own place – maybe go back to college.who knows?that just about concludes my rant.i dont know where the feck it came from because its a rareity i put my thoughts on paper.Maybe ill make it a regualr thing?hmmm……or maybe ill just get stoned and forget………………what?

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About Darren Crocker

Twenty nine year old from Aberdeen, Scotland now residing in Edinburgh. View all posts by Darren Crocker

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